" I remember down there, that--about ten o'clock one night, or when I was down there in that little old garage praying, "God, kill me or save me." I went to churches; they wanted me to come up and shake hands with the preacher.I said, "I want something more than that," See? And then in that garage that night when I said, "God, I can't go any further. I--I'll die." And when I was there in that old, wet building, and my knees... I was kneeling on an old, grass sack with my hands up, saying, "God, I don't know how to talk, Mister." I wanted to write Him a letter to ask Him to forgive me. I didn't know how to pray. I wanted to be forgiven. I'd promised that, when I was dying on the bed, and He let me... When the doctor done give me up, my heart was only beating seventeen times to the minute. And you know how slow that was. He said, "He's dying," and I heard it. Told my daddy, and pulled the curtains around me.
And there, in that room that hour, I seen big jays come all over, that curtain was around me like that. I heard that nurse crying. Said, "He's nothing but a kid (See?) and here he's going." Spinal anesthetic had leaked through and got into in my heart. See? It was only beating seventeen times a minute.When I got home, I had to prove that--that I--I loved God. And I--I got down there on that ground, and I said, "I--I don't know how to pray." And I--I'd bite on my thumb nail. I thought, maybe... I seen pictures. I'll folding my hands like this, put my fingers together. And I said, "Dear Sir, I would like to speak with You." I'd listen. I said, "I don't hear You." I said, "I folded my hands wrong. Maybe I ought to do it like this." And I put my... I said, "Dear Sir, I... Jesus Christ, I would like to speak to You." I said, "Sir, I don't hear You answer me. I've heard other people say, 'God talked to me.' Now, I want to talk this over with You. I promised You I would do it. Now, I want to talk it over. Will You please come and speak to me, Sir?" I thought, "No, I ain't holding my hands right, or He'd say something." I didn't know how to do it, never prayed in my life, didn't know what to do--this little old shed.
One day, then, I thought this... I thought, "According to the Scriptures, as I've heard it read, He was a man. If He was a man, He understands as a man." That's right. "And now, I don't know whether You hear me."Devil said, "Why, you done sinned away your day of grace. There's no more. See, you been so mean till they--he won't forgive you." I said, "I don't believe that. I just can't believe it. I believe He'd talk to me." I said, "Sir, I don't know if I make a mistake, if I ain't got my hands folded right, or whatever it is, You--You forgive me for it. But I want to talk to You." I said, "I'm the lowest rascal in the world." I said, "I--I've done all these things. And--and I've run from You, and all." And I went on talking like that. And the first thing you know, while I was talking, across the room come a little Light, and went over on the side of the wall and formed a cross of light. That light... And began to talk with a language I'd never, never heard of such a thing as speaking in tongues, never had even read the Bible. I was looking for James 5:14 in Genesis. I was looking up there, and I seen that Light, and it was talking in some kind of a language. Then It went away. And I said, "Sir," I said, "I--I--I don't know nothing about this Christian life." I said, "If--if--if that was You talking to me, I can't understand Your language, Sir. But if--if You'll talk... If--if You can't speak my language (See?), and I--I don't understand Yours, but maybe we understand one another like this. If You'll just come back there again, that'll be a sign between me and You that You forgive me." There it was again.
Oh, talk about a V-day, I had one, yes, a real V-day. There it was again, talking the same way. And I had a V-day. Oh, my. And since then when He put the Word in my hand, I've fought to win the prize, to sail through bloody seas". WMB - Victory day 63-0421
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